On this day I am thinking of him. The one person who has known me, as a peer, the longest. I was one year, seven months and 14 days (give or take the alotted time in the '60's for mom's and newborns to be released from the hospital) old when I first met him. I can't say that I recall the exact moment I laid eyes on him. Come on! I was just a baby myself! But I do have a knowledge of him as far back as I can remember. Childhood photo's can actually bring me to a few moments, that although distant, I can touch in in the recesses of my mind.
There is one memory, a vivid childhood dream... We lived in an old house, that actually divided between floors into a two family living space. Our family, just the four of us then, lived on the bottom floor. There were large heavy wooden doors that slid on rollers to close...no hinges.
I woke in the night, myself in my bed and he in his crib, with an overwhelming sense of danger and fear. I saw a big, white, polar bear curled up sleeping under his crib. Yes, the dream was vivid, I can still feel it! No telling what sparked my two year old imagination to go there!
So you see, it began early on for me, this kind of 'protective awareness' that he was one to watch over. I would imagine that all older siblings feel this way.
Of course the years go by, and time takes us from playmates to the opposite sides of the fence. Our poor parents. Siblings can have such love/hate relationships! On the one hand we annoyed the living daylights out of each other. On the other hand...NO body could inflict bodily harm upon him, accept me, of course. I was ready to take on the entire block if they were against him, and on occasion, I did!
But, it's funny how growing up changes the whole scheme of things. Our paths growing farther apart and following such seperate courses. Nothing is more painful than the moment you have no way to protect, your hands tied, forced to sit back and watch from the sidelines.
So, on this day I think of him. All grown up. With his own beautiful family. And I remember the days of his childhood...our childhood...and am grateful for us. Life may take us down different paths, but it can't take away the memories of the heart.
Happy Birthday, S.E.B.