She's back...

It’s been awhile, but now, I’m back. I have wanted to be more dedicated to these entries…had the best of intentions…and then life happens. Better said, MY life happens:) I don’t like to make excuses, but the past few years have been full of…stuff. My goal is to somehow go back and address some of the things that have gotten in my way. Once I get some of this “stuff” dealt with, I can better share the things bubbling up and overflowing my thoughts. So here is a bit of the foundation of this journey…

My health has been turning my world upside down. In early spring of 2008 I went thru weeks of illness. I was experiencing nonstop fatigue, joint pain, fever…It felt like endless days of the flu. I honestly thought my immune system was so depleted that I must be catching every virus known to mankind, one right after the other, with no relief. Finally in April, I went to the Doctor. The results came a few days later…autoimmune problems. My immune system wasn’t depleted because of the outward attack of the winter virus barrage…but rather, my Immune system was turning upon my own body, trying to destroy my connective tissues. The war in my body was not sickness of the season, nor was it the fact that I was most definitely settling into my forties! It was not the few extra pounds of mid-life, nor was it the winter doldrums! The very minute mechanisms in my body that are supposed to fight off those evil virus’ had been targeting pieces of me as the enemy, and they were doing a really good job. (I find myself even now looking at the correlation of my body turning upon its self, much as “the body of Christ” does the same thing…hindering the process and original purpose of its Creator…but alas, I have to let that thought go, so I can finish the original purpose of this post. If I type it though, and maybe highlight it in my post, I can see that I had a fleeting thought to go back to and expand upon…keep me to this, friends!) Now I was on a quest to find out just how this would affect the rest of life.

I was told that there was no way to quickly determine the name of the attacker, at least not specifically, or, right now. You know that drove me crazy. Life is simply too short, and frankly, there is way too much to do for me to be confused and not in control of a solution…those that know me really well may snicker at this time, as I snicker at myself, with you:)

I was put on several medications to reduce inflammation, subdue my pain, and lessen the severity of my symptoms. I hate medications. HATE them…I gave them six months, and then I removed all but one from my regimen. I chose to remain on the one medication that reduces the severity of my flare-ups. It does seem to help and its side effects are minimal. It doesn’t remove the disease, but for the most part, I am NOT where I was the first year of this journey. I do have occasional flares, but I also recognize some of the triggers in life that take me there. All in all, we are learning, and much grace has been given to continue coping…as at this time, for whatever purpose, my Creator has not rid me of the disease. (But that day is coming, my friends, and when it does, whenever it is…Watch out!)

It’s been a few years since we began treating for the disease. My Rheumatologist tells me I look more and more “Lupus-y” every day…and that is as close as we get to a definite diagnosis! After much research, I believe I have been battling with Auto Immune Disease most of my life…as far back as I can remember. I find it interesting the timing of the discovery, as there were so any things happening in my life. Perhaps those things were all ultimately tied to the timing…Those are thoughts for another day.

And you all must keep me at the task of sharing those thoughts, sooner than later…can’t let two more years go by, MUST put the thoughts on a page:)